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Confessions Over Calamine Lotion and Brownies

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I haven't posted for a few days. Just a few days, but my mom has been missing my eloquent and moving posts. Actually, she told me to write another post because she likes to "read the comments".

I guess you people are the best part of the blog to her...and my stellar writing is merely a catalyst to amazing notes from people my mom doesn't know. At least I know my place.

So here's a new post, and here's hoping my mom gets lots of exciting comments to read.

Why haven't I been blogging you ask (mom)? Weeelll...I've been in a bad mood. I don't like to document my bad moods, I prefer to remember myself as a singing, dancing, Julie Andrews type with a strange sense of humor. I especially don't like to document my bad moods when I don't know WHY I'm in a bad mood because that just makes me crazy...or as the half-eaten batch of brownies would accuse: hormonal.

Okay, so for the past few days, I've been trying to get out of my funk, and I have now pretty much escaped the depths of despair (although there was a minor relapse tonight when I realized my plant had died. I know. My life is rough), so here's a list of things I've been doing to snap out of it:

- Make and eat a batch of chocolate chunk brownies.

- Repeat over and over, "A light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it"...nothing like paraphrasing bible verses when you're too lazy to look them up. Amazingly, the paraphrased version still works and I believe it.

-Get a hair cut. I'm an emotional hair-cutter...luckily this was a good one.

- Clean out and organize my car. Such satisfaction in finding and disposing of three moldy sippy cups buried under the seat.

-visit my mom and take naps and read the Smithsonian while she takes the boys for walks around the farm and makes comments like, "Parenting is for the young".

-have a birthday party for a one year old and make a ridiculous hat for him to wear.

All these things helped keep me from crying hysterically over little annoyances. I felt fragile, and instead of wallowing, I carried on and tried to do things that would bring me back to a glass-half-full mentality. But these things didn't help my sense of humor, they just kept me from panicking.

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
Supposing it didn't," said Pooh.
After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this."
-A. A. Milne


Then, last night, a turning point.
I went looking for face wash in someone's spare bathroom and found a glass bottle of calamine lotion from when I was a child. The calamine was crusty pink and dried up into broken up chunks, and I found that to be HYSTERICAL. Laughing, I showed it to the someone who's house I was in (protecting identities here). They were embarrassed that such a thing had been mummified in their cupboard. It was then I noticed the spider and hurriedly put down the bottle turned spider perch. THEN I noticed that the spider was a skeleton. A skeletal spider on a glass bottle of dried chunk-ed calamine.

Why is this funny? I'm not going to analyze it. It was sufficient to remind me that no matter how dismal life seems, there's usually something to laugh about.

Oh, and I've learned some things about me these last few days that I'll have to chew on. I've learned that being positive and happy is sometimes a choice, and sometimes it's a very hard choice, and that's where faith comes in. I've learned that I shouldn't make brownies unless I plan on delivering them to a neighbor or buying bigger pants. It's like my buddy (not really) Jack Johnson sings, "getting lost is never a waste of time"....

So this week, I lost my happy, and I'm not lost now, but I did forget to take a picture of the bottle that cracked my melancholy...I had someone keep it on display on the kitchen counter to remind me and everything. Oops.



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