Fact: I was there for only five hours before I started to feel suddenly and urgently sick. I didn't want to use the communal Port a Potty...so I left as fast as I could, which was five miles per hour in accordance with a posted sign and a cranky neighbor who would maybe throw rocks at vehicles who went any faster.
My relatives might be saying, "JoAnn, we would've let you use the house potty if you'd asked! No need to rush off without saying goodbye!"
To which I say, "I didn't want to be sick in front of 100 people who know me and will remember my face/actions. Besides, in my sick state, I thought that I could make the very long trip home to my own personal bathroom. I actually made it about twenty (seemed like a million) miles before I frantically ran to a gas station bathroom. It was filled with graffiti but NOT filled with toilet paper...it was, however, anonymous.
"But JoAnn," you say, "you are blogging to the Internet about your illness, which seems to be the opposite of anonymity."
To which I say, "Yes. I make logical decisions like that."
Anyway, I wasn't there long, and I didn't say goodbye to ANYone. Now all one thousand of my relatives probably think I'm rude/into myself/need to eat more Activia.
The reunion was held at our ancestral home, which was founded by my Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother. It's beautiful:
This is what the reunion is about: the older and the younger gathering together to love...
...and eat a lot of meat. Notice the salsa? The deep pit BBQ? Yum.
Here is Sheldon, in a sea of brown. Happily he still knew who his mother was despite my looking exactly like 100 other people. My Father suggested that I call out like a penguin to lead him to me during picture time...and it was a good idea considering that we had all basically become a sea of brown penguins.
What am I talking about? Hello? Is this thing on?
It's inside jokes like these that lead me to think there's a strong vein of eccentricity flowing through my veins.
Do you know what else runs strongly through my family's veins? Raw talent.
I don't think I inherited that part...just the eccentric, penguin joking part.
However, my Relative Linda obviously has raw talent. Look at these quilts that she MADE. They have our signatures on them. Raw. Talent.
What do you think of these handmade dolls made by my Great Aunt Ruth? Raw. Talent.
These bracelets were made by my Relative Kris. I loved them. LOVED THEM. Raw Talent.
Here I am, stuck with a tendency to make obtuse penguin jokes while other people in my family make art from scraps of metal.
And here I am with my spoon and fork wind chime that was made by my Aunt Cathy.
Raw. Talent.
I think she's looking for silver plated spoons/forks/knives if anyone wants to donate to her wind chime cause, but wouldn't it be funny if she's NOT looking for utensils and then she ends up with a bunch of random silverware on her front porch? She'd have to blame it on the no talent relative who makes obscure and obtuse penguin jokes.
Anyway...I know you guys are dying to know what Relative (actually NOT my Uncle) Ron wore for the event. He was NOT a brown penguin. He was a lime green sign of independence and rebellion.
I think Relative Ron started a trend. Here is Meat Master Matt (who, shockingly, IS my Uncle) wearing a Hawaiian shirt and daring us all to give him whatfor about it.
Whatfor Uncle Matt!! Whatfor!! Just because you BBQ'ed a million pounds of beef and spent four hours making homemade salsa for everyone doesn't mean you get out of wearing the official regulation tee shirt!
We had a historic scavenger hunt where we all ran around, looking for treasures. I wore flip flops, so I spent the whole time complaining about my delicate feet being stabbed by sticks and worrying about poison oak. My Aunt Cathy tried to reassure me that she hadn't seen any poison oak, but towards the end of the event I think she was contemplating throwing me into some poison oak. My family has a low whiner tolerance. Luckily for me, Aunt Cathy never found any poison oak...and I bought one of her wind chimes, so I was still on her good side despite my incessant complaining.
I saw this beautiful waterfall when I was searching desperately for the place where a cow was buried (yes, that was a clue on our historic scavenger hunt).
Who's this person running through a field of wildflowers? Hint: They are wearing a lime green, non-regulation polo shirt.
Quinten made a new friend at the reunion: Relative Olivia. She is Relative Ron's daughter. Q and Olivia had a blast running around, eating cookies and drinking pink lemonade by the gallonful.
Sometimes Q had too much fun and went into a pink lemonade induced frenzy. Time outs ensued:
After time out, it was back to the cooler for MORE pink lemonade.
And that, my friends, is the 2010 DOLOP Reunion in a nutshell. Nothing else to report...except I saw Bigfoot:
HAHAHAHA! Bazinga Derrick! Gotcha again!
All in all, it was a wonderful, action packed five hours. I'm truly disappointed that I couldn't stay longer and get to know my distant relations more. I'm disappointed that I didn't get to say goodbye to Relative Ron the Rebel, or eat watermelon with Relative Laura, or look at more picture albums or visit with Great Aunt Jessie. I'll have to make up for it at the next one!
