Ostriches Look Funny: Shingles and Spiders

I woke up this morning to the DOORBELL, which is disconcerting when you have morning hair.

Luckily Derrick was there to shove out of bed, he doesn't have to worry about making his hair look presentable.

It was the roofers, and they promptly started to rip the really old, leaky shake roof that currently covers our home. There was a lotta noise. There is still a lotta noise, so Q is not taking a nap, he is watching a feature length cartoon. Sheldon can sleep through anything, as this hammering cacophony can attest.

I was really excited about a new roof. I think it's the whole, "Hi, I'm Pregnant" thing, but fixing up stuff and making things fresh and pretty (even the roof) really excites me.

I was not so excited to see giant piles of shingle all over my flowerbed. Suddenly our "salad bowl" full of lettuce and chives was a woodpile. Where were my snapdragons? What had become of my impatiens?

So then Derrick (who was home for lunch) went outside and started taking the shingle off of the flowers, which I found embarrassing and romantic. I also saw him talking to the roofer and I can just IMAGINE what he was saying..."Hi, uh, my wife is hormonal, and she's currently weeping over the remains of that iris poppy over there...so, can you guys try to throw stuff in a more organized manner?"

I just saw the foreman hand-picking shingles off of my azalea bush. I think I'm gonna have to buy everyone donuts tomorrow.

Speaking of crazy hormonal activities, last night at about 10:30, I was unable to sleep owing to the Karate Kid that I seem to have growing in my belly, and I suddenly remembered something VERY important.

"Derrick! There's a spider egg sack in the spare room window. Wake up! I think it was a black widow egg sack."

He mumbled something about smashing it. I was like, "NO I DID NOT SMASH IT!?! I don't smash spider-ish things. I told you about it on Sunday, and I just now remembered that YOU didn't smash it. "

To which he replied helpfully, "You need to smash those things! The baby spiders will hatch and crawl all over the place, you have to smash those things if you see them!"

Now that I was thinking about a million tiny black widows, crawling all over the house in my sleep, I asked him nicely, "Please go kill it. What if they come in our room while we're sleeping? THEY COULD HATCH TONIGHT! I can't sleep. I'm freaking out."

"Really? Yeah. They're going to crawl into our room," he said, and then I heard a huffy sigh.

Five seconds later I heard some grumbling coming from the spare room...something about lint.

In other news, Q has an eye infection from a drive-by finger poke produced by Sheldon. We were at the doctor for two hours to get some eye drops, and guess who is Anti-Eye Drops? Q. So three times a day he freaks out, and I'm just hoping that one of the drops makes it onto his eyeball.

Sheldon has started swimming lessons, and spent the first one screaming "NOOOO! NOOOO!" hysterically. My proudest moment was when he started throwing the pool toys the instructor was trying to distract him with.

Q has progressed in swim lessons from trying to scream and kick his way to freedom. Now he spends a lot of time negotiating his terms. Instead of jumping on the count of three, he wants to jump on the count of five. Instead of four more kicks, how about two more? I see a future in litigation for him.

I think next week will be more relaxing, less noisy, less infected and generally quiet. All of our activities are cancelled because of Easter vacation, the roof will be done, and I will enjoy having lots of time to fix up my garden, check my email, and take naps. Until then, I might go lay down on the couch.