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You should know that my children never sleep through the night until they're 9 months old.
Even when he's sleeping (finally) he has his hands on the exit bars.
Tobin has, for the first time in his career/life, slept through the night until 4 a.m. There has been much rejoicing. There has been much sleeping. Everyone is happy.
Except for Dr. Claw.
I like how I take detailed pictures of cat legs, but blurry pics of cat faces. I'll call it art. It sounds nicer than "bad photography" right?
I may or may not have put off "fixing" Dr. Claw. She is an inside cat. There isn't a "Fix Your Cat" delivery service where someone just picks the ding dang cat up and delivers it when the job is done. I actually have to carve time out of my schedule for this, and I've been using my spare time to sleep...and to garden obsessively.
These may or may not be excuses.
And now I have to take a minute to yell at my friend Brittany, who asks me ALL THE TIME if my cat had kittens yet.
"So guess what? I just read a good book, it's called Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children and it's about..."
"...YOUR CAT HAVING KITTENS? IS IT ABOUT THAT?"
MY CAT HAS NOT HAD KITTENS! Nor is she on a special island for children with special abilities who are trying to escape monsters. Nor are her kittens. My cat does not factor in at all to Miss Peregrine Home For Peculiar Children. My cat does, however, factor into this story that I am trying to tell you. Sadly I've interrupted myself to yell at Brittany and I'm not sure how to get this train back on the tracks. ANYWHO...
I have started sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT for the FIRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR.
However, last night, I was rudely woken (awoken?) several times by some passionate meowing (mewing?). Dr Claw was as snug as an unfixed feline in the laundry room, but a new "friend" had shown up on our back porch.
This black, long haired, specimen declared his love the entire night. I know because I woke up many, many times, to the melodic mewing of a cat in love. 2 a.m? MEOW! 4 a.m? MEWROW! etc.
Derrick says it's not love, and I'd like to take a minute to yell at him too, but I'm afraid he's probably right.
When the dawn broke, the black cat crept off and we rejoiced in our coffee.
Then the sun set again. Tonight. The ding dang cat is back. He is perched on our back porch. The cats are singing lusty, romantic songs to each other....constantly.
Let's not talk about the Ft. Knox door lock on the GLASS DOOR. Just. Don't.
I had to put Dr. Claw in the laundry room. She was embarrassing herself.
We're on lock down here, chaperoning a rather worldly unfixed feline. AND YES I AM GOING TO GET HER FIXED! TRULY! AS SOON AS SOMEONE OFFERS TO TAKE HER TO THE VET! NO REALLY I'LL DO IT, BECAUSE I WANT TO SLEEP AGAIN....SOON. But, if anyone wants an easy five dollars, I have a job for you...
NO! I do NOT mean I need you to "fix" my cat. I'll leave that to the professionals. I just might need you to drive her to and from the hypothetical appointment so I don't have to do it. Because I need my sleep. And I'm lazy. And I have books to read. And succulents to plant.
