Now I'm Wondering If I Would Be Happy Without Dried String Cheese In the Bathroom...




I woke up. In the middle of my deep desire to hit the snooze button on my life, I realized I was telling lies again.

I've been declaring, "No, I do not want to race cars. No I don't want to make another Playdoh bird, nor do I wish to make fifteen eggs for the bird. I don't want to build a Lego cow. I don't want to wipe any more noses or change any more diapers. I defiantly don't want to hear any more crying babies at 2 a.m."



Except that I do want that stuff.

I want all those things.

I want to be the one who sorts out who's turn it is for sitting in the front of the tub, I want to spend my days deciphering directions for a Lego helicopter. 




I want to change my shirt four times in one morning because people keep spitting up/wiping their nose on me. 

I want to drive a minivan full of crumbs and solitary socks.

I want to find week old bits of string cheese in the bathroom...um...sort of.

I want to trip over matchbox cars in the dark.

I want to tell my children elaborate, ridiculously long stories about mice who have guns. 

I want to explain why rattlesnakes shake their tales and I want to go to the zoo. 

I want to get friendly stares from old people at Target, and I want to get unsolicited parenting advice from them.

I want to hug my sons when they are disappointed and hand out band aids when they are hurt.

I want to sleep less and hold babies in the dark.

I want to be a mother.

I just forget it sometimes, what I want to be. 
I'm living the dream, baby. Living. The. Dream. This dream just requires lots of coffee, and the patience of Mother Teresa, and a heavy dependence on the Almighty, and the ability to silence the selfish parts that try to sabotage the fun parts of parenting.

Isn't it funny how you can be doing exactly what you want to be doing and still wish you were doing something else? 


(Side note: when you're supposed to be asleep it's always fun to stand on your bed and pretend you're a Captain of Something. Thanks Jodi, I blame you for this one.)

13 comments:

  1. Most Happy to obilige,me hearty.

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  2. So true. Shirts are always cleaner on the otherside but who needs clean shirts? This made me happy. Glad I read this while drinking my coffee. :)

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  3. I forget sometimes too, what I want to be. After a looonnnng week. And then the weekend comes, and I regain some sense of clarity. Your last line explains it so well.

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  4. I too forget that this really where I want to be and I won't want anyone else to be his mom.

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  5. sweet and funny reminder ... loved that last little sum-up, "This dream just requires lots of coffee, and the patience of Mother Teresa, and a heavy dependence on the Almighty, and the ability to silence the selfish parts that try to sabotage the fun parts of parenting." So. True. If I could just play ... I'd have a smile on my face all day long. Pesky laundry!

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  6. Agree wih Morgan - sweet and funny reminder. Isn't it wonderfu to be in the middle of an extraordinary ordinary day? :)

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  7. I spent the early a.m. putting photo's of my second child on a thumb drive for her, sniff snifff, graduation slide show. It's nice to come back downstairs and get to pick oatmeal off her youngest brother's t-shirt. I too love this looooong ride... with coffee.

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  8. "This dream just requires lots of...", brilliant. Simply brilliant. And beautifully put. Thank you for voicing what so many of us mamas feel, so brilliantly. I think I've said brilliant a few times too many, haven't I? Sorry... :) May the Almighty sustain you through every snotty nose you wipe and every petrified cheese stick you discover.

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  9. i think you are Doing That Thing Again, where you cross-dissect my innards and lay me bare. this is so me.

    and also, i want to be the captain of something. or at least don a cape.

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  10. I concur, wholeheartedly! I will never be one of those mothers who wishes her kids would hurry up and grow out of any age, I love them all. I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. It may be hard and it may suck sometimes but 1 good moment in a day can make up for 99 bad.

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  11. Great post! You are living the dream. I'm past most of those stages. And I truly miss it.

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  12. This sentence right here may be the biggest truth of my life:
    "you can be doing exactly what you want to be doing and still wish you were doing something else."

    Indeed, I must remind myself constantly.
    This IS where I want to be. Yes. Nowhere else.

    And I love string cheese. Anywhere.
    Even dried out in the bathroom.

    p.s. There's no such thing as a too-long story when it comes to mice and guns. Fact.

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  13. Even though I love sleep, I agree that holding babies in the dark is a beautiful thing.
    It's a challenge sometimes not to wish away the moments that ought to be savored.

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