34
Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. ~Jerry Seinfeld
When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, coffee helps. Then the kids wake up and you need a Higher Power and a sense of humor to get you though the day.
After they socked each other in the head over a backhoe, after they decided to have a piece of candy and then ate the whole bag, after I washed a load of towels TWICE and they still smelled musty, after someone stepped on the cat's tail, after I spent an hour making breakfast burritos/chasing down the runaway baby (he was usually in the shower/)...we went outside.
I planned on sitting under a tree, relaxing and recovering while the boys rode bikes. I plopped down, ready to have a moment's peace. The chair had been outside for the night, and therefore it was no longer a chair, but a small pond. I sat and soaked. Why relax when you can sit in a puddle (asked the toddler)?
I decided to cut my losses and stain the side fence. I had bought a brush to stain the fence yesterday. Placing it on the bumper of my minivan wasn't the best plan, and driving away to church later sealed the fate of my brush. I was slightly disgruntled when I set everything up only to discover my brush had blown away. If you see a paintbrush languishing in an intersection, it's probably mine.
There are times in a mother's life when you just have to keep moving or you will turn into a pillar of salt.
I found some ragged brushes in a craft box my mother gave me...I would like to interrupt this post to tell everyone that the WORST gift you can give a mother of three boys is a box full of crafty stuff/glitter. Glitter is the eleventh plague of Egypt.
So anyway, the craft box THAT HAS BEEN BANISHED TO THE GARAGE DUE TO A GLITTER INFESTATION had some paintbrushes, and since my four year old was digging a giant well in my flower bed with his play shovel, I decided to put the kids to work.
I handed them the paintbrushes and a cup of water and told them to paint the house.
They loved it, and suddenly everything was sunshine and roses. I think manual labor for children is probably why the mothers of yore didn't go completely bananas before the invention of cartoons, but now that I've typed it out, it sounds bad...so don't tell anyone I said that okay?
Seriously though, the boys love to have a job to do. They painted for about an hour. Then we went inside again and I made the mistake of trying to take a shower.
It's always fun to be in a shower and hear screams of panic.
Despite the horribly taxing aspect of this day, despite the murder attempts and the thrown plastic dinosaurs, despite the scrambled eggs in diapers and the dog who has diarrhea (OF COURSE), I am treasuring these days. It won't be long before painting a house with water sounds like a bad idea, and then what shall I do? Give them real paint?
The boys are starting preschool next week.
I will miss them, but it's time for the next chapter in this Adventure. It's time for their teachers to teach them that the letter "S" is not a "nugoo". It's time for their teachers to hear the pretend word, "nugoo" in response to every question they ask. It's time for someone else's table to be covered in glue. I'm sure going to miss it though.
Nugoo.
Do you have any recipes for breakfast foods on the run? Any secrets for keeping your kids out of trouble? For showering in peace?
